Communication skills are essential if you want great relationships

Your whole life consists of relationships….

The way to measure how effective your communication skills are is to look at the results you get. Then compare them to the results that you wanted.

Most people don’t plan out what they are going to say and then wonder why they get results, they didn’t plan on getting. In the diagram below there is a guideline for planning out your communication.

Now, don’t go and become a machine that plans out every last syllable. This is for those important conversations where you need precision.

The Acronym is SPECIFY. It stands for

S = sensory specific- what are you going to say and what will be the result of that ? What will you see, hear and feel ?

P = Positively stated – Say what you do want NOT what you don’t want.

E = Ecological _ What are all of the potential consequences of what you say ?

C = Choice increasing – Does this communication increase your choices or diminish them ?

I = Initiated by Self – You are the one who is responsible for the outcomes andyou’re ready for it.

F = First steps identified- What will be the first thing that you say, and then what and then what next ?

Y = Your resources identified- This means not only your physical resources but also personal internal resources such as courage or strength, determination and patience. All the qualities that you have.

This tool is normally used for goalsetting but it can be applied across lots of different planning exercises. Please feel free to use it for planning vacations weddings or whatever you want…

Read the whole article here…6 communication skills you must have in your relationships