Transforming Communication

Transforming Communication-

admin — Mon, 09 May 2011 14:26:32 +0000

Claim the exact skills used by the elite 1% to be in control of their relationships…Now available to you in less than four days

Dear frustrated and fed up friend,

You already know how it makes you feel when you can’t get other people to understand those important points that you’re trying to get across. Especially when they ridicule you or try to deny the truth of what you’re saying and you either want to scream or just storm off out of sheer frustration.

I was there once too.

You already know how important your communication skills are but they’re a bit like your health. You don’t think about them until your relationships are going down the tubes. It’s not until you realize, yet again, that you’re up to your ears and fed up to the back teeth with “stupid” misunderstandings. And worst of all you can’t for the life of you figure out a way to change it.

I would love to tell you that there’s an instant fix. You know like a pill you can take or a mantra you can say and that in just ten minutes or less you will be the proud owner of the super dooper relationship repair kit and it will magically transform your life…. A mere 37 seconds after you take off the cellophane .

But I can’t… and I won’t… because I’d be lying and it wouldn’t be fair on you, to build up your hopes like that, knowing they’d be dashed.

It takes longer than ten minutes to change habits that you got taught over your whole lifetime. And that’s all that the way you build relationships is. It’s a habit. And what that means is that to get the results that you want from your world may take a bit longer…

…Sometimes it takes as long as a week to start to see the positive results…

But… in the first five minutes of our transforming communication course you will learn the one thing that predicts with 95% accuracy whether or not your relationship will last. The rest of the 26 hour course is about showing you how to make sure it never happens.

Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Mike Noone I’m an NLP trainer and I specialise in showing people ways to get better relationships by using skills they already know well. The trouble is that these skills are absolutely useless to you if you use them in the wrong way or in the wrong place. Along with my partner Evelyne Draper we have put together something for you that we think is pretty amazing.

Allow me to tell you more as there’s quite a tale behind this. But before I do that I want to let you know what this relationship building system does and why it’s so important.

You already know how to talk to people. You already know how to create rapport. You are hard wired for it, by design.

What you are not hard wired for or designed for is all the extra data and sensory input that you’re getting in the 21st Century.Nor are the people around you that you spend time with every day.
It’s not your fault but you suffer anyway.

One of the things that happens is that your stress ends up multiplying like a virus in a petri dish because everyone around you is adding their little bit of stress to the mix.

Stress is a killer and one of the biggest causes of stress is fighting with those that you love; those you work for; your kids; your employees. Think about it….

I have research that shows you will live longer if you’re happier

So the converse side of this is that if you are happy and relaxed then you will live longer and you can get some of the facts about it here. >>>>> Research shows.. <<<<

This is why we teach you how to relax and become confident almost instantly using an easy to learn NLP technique that was developed by watching how experts do it.

Many communications courses show you how to browbeat others into submission and really let them know how you feel about stuff and WHY it’s all their fault.

This is known as assertiveness and I’m sure that you’re familiar with it.You’ve probably already been at both ends of it and you can probably remember what that feels like.

Here’s the thing..

Winning isn’t about being the biggest strongest most alpha gorilla in the jungle- That’s for dumbass types and bullies

But there’s so much more to it than confidence and assertiveness because the thing about that type of communication is that

Most times BOTH of you lose

What the Transforming communication system does is it increases the “no problem area” in your relationships and through some clever but simple techniques allows you to decrease the conflict areas.

It also teaches you how to say your piece in a way that the other person cannot dispute the truth of what you have said. And without them “getting ratty” at you either.

Now does this mean that you will never disagree with another human being as long as you live??

Definitely not.

The Transforming Communication system allows you to handle most circumstances but can’t prevent them happening. At least, not yet…

Nope !

…

As I said earlier there’s a bit of a story here.

It started back in April, 2006.

We were all done…proudly standing in front of the class! Our certificates in hand, when the trainer for this course said something that changed my life.

ONLY 1% of the people on the planet

…have the time and the money to do this training. That was ok until I realized that meant that 99% of the population is NOT going to take advantage of this cutting edge stuff.

It shocked me !

It’s no wonder there’s so many divorces, wars, road rage and folks who are just downright grumpy because people don’t understand them.

Now being a bit of a stand up guy for both rights and responsibilities yelling and screaming at people because they don’t understand you is a pretty ineffective way of getting your message across. Blowing people to Kingdom come just because they have different opinions to you isn’t my idea of democratic either.

To me, common sense, ( the most uncommon commodity in the world ) says that if you listen and then understand what those with different perspectives have to say then several wonderful things can happen.

1/ You are more likely to be able to influence them because they’ll know you’ve listened to them. Just knowing how to do this one thing makes this worth learning.
2/ It will save a fortune on divorce attorneys and alimony payments counselors and therapist fees and other weapons of financial destruction which means you can divert that money and all that energy into rebuilding industry and creating jobs for people. You can be part of creating a happier and safer planet.

3/ And because people will have jobs and money they will have the time to create safe neighborhoods without any foreclosures which means the country will be happier.
All without any bailouts or defaults.

Back to the 1%

My partner Evelyne said why not put it up on the interweb so more people can get this learning. Now straight away I could sense that this was something brilliant. That was around three years ago and despite the fact that I knew squat about the internet, I was inspired by the idea nonetheless.

deck view from Puketai

Inspired enough to move to the third world to cut costs and live off of the proceeds of selling my dream house while we learned and did what was needed.

Talk about motivated…

After, at last count, at least four attempts to put this online; thousands of hours spent doing audio, and video compressing it all, using trial, error, making mistakes and endless cups of tea. We finally are there.

So after all of that, you’re probably curious about why we would spend so much time energy and money doing this.

Simple, easy…

Because this training changes lives. In as little as 4 days you can start to feel more confident , happy, powerful and in control.

And you have heard that before so I’m going to prove it to you if you’ll let me but…

ON ONE CONDITION

You must promise on the life of those nearest and dearest to you that you will not abuse the power that I’m about to hand you. It will cause you endless bad ju ju if you do.

You will be rated by the world as lower than a psychopathic terrorist with a case full of narcotics outside of the school playground.

If you are not going to use these skills then just hit the back button now. This is only for those who are really serious about using these skills ethically.

Transforming communication is like having your own personal tool box filled with
all of the things you’ll ever need to create strong and enduring relationships. The sort of relationships where you feel like you really count and are important to the other people there.
I’m not going to bang on about how much you need this stuff as only you can know if you’re getting the results from your life that you really want, or not.

All I will say is this…

Look at the worlds top performers in any field and you will immediately notice the thing they all have in common. Look at those 1%…

They know how to get on really well with the people that are important in their life…

People like their family and their partner. The people they work with or for. People who work for them and their friends and neighbors.

You owe it to yourself to think about how much better your life would be if only you had better relationships.

If you want to lay your hands on the first three modules of the transforming communication course absolutely free then simply leave your name and email address in the box below.

Oh and by the way

If you will leave your comments below…And remember to Tweet this out and like it too. I appreciate it and so will your friends.

Transforming Communication in Education

admin — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 05:46:53 +0000

This article was abstracted from the transforming Communication instructors manual and lends weight to the view that good communication affects people’s lives in many ways.

Using Transforming Communication In High Schools
A: Preventing Violence In Schools: An NLP Based Solution
© Dr Richard Bolstad and Margot Hamblett

For every thousand children attending high school in the United States, there is one serious incident of
violent crime at the school referred to the police every year (NCES, 1998). The National Centre for
Education Statistics cautions that this figure in no way reflects the actual rate of violence which would
be reported by students. It is only the tip of the iceberg.
Programs to deal with this problem have focused on student education. From our experience in New
Zealand, we believe there may be another, equally important way to intervene. Teacher trainer Alfie
Kohn studied teachers who modelled co-operative behaviour in their interaction with their students.
He says that research on teachers who are less controlling and more supportive of students’ autonomy,
finds that their students are more self confident, and more interested in learning (Kohn, 1996, p 85).
The more that students experience their class as a co-operative community, then the more they see
learning as intrinsically valuable, the more skilled they are at resolving conflict, and the more
supportive of others they become (Kohn, 1996, p 103).

Can this success be modelled (in the NLP sense) and passed on to other teachers? We believe it can.
By training teachers in skills for building co-operative relationships, we were able to double the
effectiveness of school violence prevention programs. This study also has implications for any large
organisation using such training in work teams, and we hope to replicate our study soon in a business
setting.

The Transforming Communication Research

In 1999 we conducted a research study on the results of training teachers to use an NLP based conflict
resolution system in their classrooms. The study occurred at a high school on the outskirts of one of
New Zealand’s main cities (Christchurch). At this school, a group of ten teachers took our 26 hour
training program “Transforming Communication”. This training is run as basic training for health
professionals in several New Zealand degree programs, and has been used as management training in
large New Zealand organisations such as Bank of New Zealand. A version of the program is also used
in high schools to train student mediators, and it is regularly offered as staff training for teachers at all levels of the education system.

Versions of the TC program are custom designed for the specifics of each environment, so that the
program for school teachers uses examples and practice situations from school classrooms. The
program includes rapport skills, sensory system recognition, resource anchoring, listening skills,
assertive skills, skills for influencing others opinions respectfully, and a model for win-win conflict
resolution. The overall model has been presented by us previously in articles in Anchor Point and
NLP World (Bolstad and Hamblett, 1998 A-C, 1999).

Three student classes at the high school we studied were taught regular curriculum classes by three or
more of the teachers being trained, and so any flow on effects from the teachers’ training could be
expected to affect these classes significantly. These classes were matched in our study with four
“control” classes of similar type, which had no input or less input from the teachers trained in TC.
Transforming Communication © Transformations International Consulting & Training Ltd, 2009
However, three of the control classes had one of these teachers involved with them, so that some
positive effects might be expected even in these groups.

Teachers and Students filled in a questionnaire a few weeks after the start of the year (before the
Transforming Communication course had started), and again three months after this, (ie two months
after the teachers completed the Transforming Communication training). The questionnaire had some
open answer questions, and some questions where respondents rated an issue on a five point scale.
Changes were evident in both the teachers perception of the classes, and in the students’ perception of
school life.

Changes In The Teachers’ Experience

One of the questions we were curious about, was what problems teachers experienced with student
behaviour. Before the training, five of the ten teachers identified students speaking inappropriately to
staff as a problem. Afterwards, not a single teacher identified this as an issue. Before the training, five
identified lack of motivation amongst students as a problem. Afterwards only one identified this as an
issue. These incredibly concerning student issues may have been almost entirely resolved over the
time of the course. They certainly had become much less significant for the teachers. The teachers’
perception was borne out by the students’ comments. Students were asked how much they felt like cooperating with their teachers. In the controls, the percentage who said they felt “not at all” like cooperating dropped slightly from 6% to 4%. In the test group itself, the drop went down to zero. This
group of highly resistant students, who tend to occupy an inordinate amount of teachers’ time, simply
disappeared.

In the second survey, nine of the ten teachers reported that they were using the win-win conflict
resolution process in their classrooms, and three said they were using it regularly. This in itself is an
important measure, because many staff education experiences are lost in the day to day pressure of
“real life”.

As a result of their use of the skills, teachers reported changes in themselves, in their relationship with
students, in their relationship with other staff, and even in their personal relationships. In the
classroom, teachers reported that they were more confident, more aware of what they wanted and how
to get it, more positive in speaking to students, and more able to listen to students. Three reported that
their students were more confident, and that the students were using the TC skills too. Teachers were
asked how possible it was to get problem situations resolved so that both they and the students felt
pleased with the result. Before the training, none rated this as “Very possible”, and one rated it as not
possible. After training, three rated it as very possible and all rated it as possible to some extent. Nine
said they felt more confident dealing with students whose behaviour was a problem, and nine said
they felt more confident dealing with students who were angry or upset.

In regard to staff relations, some teachers reported being more assertive, some reported listening
more, some reported feeling more supported, and four reported no change. The number who believed
that conflicts with colleagues could be resolved in a way everyone feels good about increased from
four to eight.

Considering life relationships in general, all made positive comments after the training; some reported
being more aware, some more confident, and some reported being more positive in their outlook. Two
reported improvements in their relationship with their life partner.
Transforming Communication © Transformations International Consulting & Training Ltd, 2009

Changes In The Students’ Experience

There were changes in the way the students in the three classes exposed to the Transforming
Communication trained teachers perceived their class group, and their teacher. The school had a
number of programs underway to support positive changes, and was particularly focusing on reducing
bullying. Positive change in the groups who received strong input from three trained teachers (after
this called the TC group) was far higher than in the other four groups.

Lateness for class and unwillingness to engage in class discussion are good indicators of the level of
apathy and resentment in a classroom. The number of the controls who said they had not been late for
class at all in the last week rose from 21% to 23%. The number never late in the TC group rose to
40%. The positive shift in the TC group is several times that of the overall group, and would clearly
have a marked effect on the time available for a teacher to teach. This change in enthusiasm for school
was very general. In the control group, the number who said they ask questions in class “whenever I
can” dropped from 12% to 3%. They actually got less motivated as the year went on. In the TC group,
the number who said they ask questions “whenever I can” rose from 9% to 13%.

Students were asked how helpful they found their teacher when they were learning, and outside the
learning situation. Again, the trend in the control group was for students increasingly to give up on
their teachers, and the trend in the TC group was to become increasingly trusting. In the controls, over
the period of the study, students’ perception of their teachers’ helpfulness dropped (numbers rating
them extremely helpful dropped from 21% to 10%). In the TC groups, the shift went the opposite way
(numbers rating them extremely helpful rose by 4%). Similarly, the number rating their teacher as
amazingly helpful when dealing with problems outside class dropped in the controls (from 9% to 6%)
but rose in the TC group (from 7% to 11%).

Two crucial questions tracked the level of violence and intimidation occurring in the classroom. As
with all the questions, students were able to reply under protection of confidentiality, offering a
revealing glimpse at levels of “bullying” in the New Zealand school system. Firstly, students were
asked “How often have you seen a student insult or put down another student in class over the last
week?” At the start, over 20% said this regularly happened, and only 8% said it never happened.
Overall there was a 32% improvement in the TC group, compared to a 7% improvement in the
controls.

The difference between the two groups is evident at both ends of the spectrum. In the controls, the
number saying that insults never happened increased slightly from 8% to 10%. In the TC groups, this
positive change was from 8% to 24%. In the control group, 21% said it regularly happened, and this
was the same in the follow-up. In the TC group, at follow-up, no students (0%) said it regularly
happened.

The second question asked “How often have you seen a student threaten, hit or injure another student
in class in the last week?” In the controls, the number who said that this never happens increased from
40% to 42%. In the TC groups the increase in this success went from 46% to 64%. Again, the positive
change was several times as strong in the studied classes as in the controls, although both sets of
classes were exposed to the school’s anti-bullying program.

Conclusions

In our 26 hour program, we were able to effectively encourage most teachers to use skills for cooperative classroom relationships. This change was accompanied by changes in the way those
teachers responded as colleagues, even though such staff-staff situations were not discussed in the
Transforming Communication © Transformations International Consulting & Training Ltd, 2009
207training. The teachers felt more resourceful in challenging classroom situations, and noticed a real
change in the behaviour of their students as a result of their using the skills.

Students in the classes which had the opportunity to interact with these NLP trained teachers became
more enthusiastic about school (as evidenced by their prompt attendance and involvement in class
discussion). They also became more trusting that their teachers could help them with educational and
non-educational problems. Sadly, the students in the other classes became less co-operative, and
lowered their faith in their teachers’ helpfulness. The students in all classes noticed the success of the
anti-bullying program instituted by the school. However, in the TC group, the reduction in insults and
in bullying was three times that produced in the general school population.

Like all research, our study can be challenged in a number of ways. For one thing, almost all the
groups had some input from the teachers we trained, so we didn’t have a “clean” control group. That
means our results may have been even better than the statistics show. Also, as in any small study, the
classes we studied did not always begin with the same baseline statistics; in some ways the TC trained
classes began slightly “better functioning” than the other groups, and in other ways they began
slightly “worse”. A larger study would enable us to get more reliable results.

However, we have demonstrated to our own satisfaction that teaching teachers these NLP based cooperative relationship skills affects the results for their students. This claim is supported by the
previous studies reviewed by Alfie Kohn. Kohn’s research studied teachers who were “naturally”
using these skills. What our report adds is the evidence that when we model such natural skills and
train teachers in their use, the same results will occur.

Bolstad, R. and Hamblett, M. “Transforming Conflict” in Anchor Point, Vol 12, No. 3, p 33-42 and
Vol 12, No. 4, p 17-23, March 1998 and April 1998 (A)
Bolstad, R. and Hamblett, M. “Win-Win” in Anchor Point, Vol 12, No. 5, p 3-12, May 1998 (B)
Bolstad, R. and Hamblett, M. Transforming Communication, Addison-Wesley-Longman, Auckland,
1998 (C)
Bolstad, R. and Hamblett, M. “Transforming Conflict in Training” p 25-44 in NLP World Vol 6, No.
3, November 1999
Kohn, A. Beyond Discipline: From Compliance to Community, Association for Supervision and
Curriculum Development, Alexandria, Virginia, 1996
National Centre for Education Statistics Violence and Discipline Problems In U.S. Public Schools:
1996-97 (NCES 98-030), Education Publications Centre, Jessup, 1998

Technorati Tags: better communication for teachers., communication skills for teachers, communication skills in education, preventing bullying

Transforming Communication and useful links to some of the skills you will learn…

admin — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 21:41:05 +0000

I came across some articles that I wrote a number of years ago about how to improve your relationships. I realised that this may be what you are looking for to have the sort of intimate and trusting communication that you really want. That’s a pre-supposition and a mind read

For me it was always about feeling confident enough to handle situations that came out of left field. It is all about trust isn’t it, and feeling like that you can be confident in any situation… Yes I know that that is a mind read but anyway here are the links to the articles.

-http://michaelnoone.hubpages.com/hub/importanceofcommunicationskills
http://michaelnoone.hubpages.com/hub/6-communication-skills-you-must-have-in-your-relationships
http://michaelnoone.hubpages.com/hub/communication-skills–mirroring-body-language
http://michaelnoone.hubpages.com/hub/how-to-build-rapport
and finally
http://michaelnoone.hubpages.com/hub/More-on-Rapport

I would welcome your comments and also any requests for further informnation.

Mike

The Power Of Our Thoughts

admin — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 04:57:17 +0000

“All that you accomplish or fail to accomplish with your life is the direct result of your thoughts. You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.”
James Allen (1864 – 1912)

This quote by James Allen is just one of the numerous ways that people have expressed their belief that our thoughts create our lives. And you may have heard or read other quotes, basically saying the same. Even the Buddha had this to say about the power of our thoughts:

“What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind. Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts. But once mastered, no one can help you as much.” Buddha (568 – 488 BC)

As an NLP trainer, I presuppose that we are in charge of our thoughts. This means that, as the Buddha above says, we create our life by how we think. It also means that, if we’re in charge of our thoughts, we’re in charge of the results we get.

The problem, though, is: how do we change our thinking, especially if we’re so used to think negative thoughts? If you don’t believe me when I say we’re used to negative thinking, just switch on the TV or glance at the newspapers. Negativity abounds in those media.

One way that helped me to switch from negative to more positive thinking is…

…Gratitude.

Being grateful for what I have now, for example, puts me very firmly in the here and now. And what’s really interesting is, when I’m grateful I feel happy and contented. Right in the moment.

When thinking positively you feel positive and this means you do more positive things. And when you experience more positive results as a consequence, you will have more positive beliefs which will in turn again affect your thinking. And overall, your life will be so much more positive.

Recently, we laid my father-in-law to rest. And it occurred to me that life is too short to be miserable and unhappy. Your life is too precious to be fearful or worrying about things that haven’t happened yet. And we don’t really have time to complain about other people’s shortcomings.

There are various NLP skills to help you change from thinking and feeling negative
Read more… The Power Of Our Thoughts