Claim the exact skills used by the elite 1% to be in control of their relationships…Now available to you in less than four days

Dear frustrated and fed up friend,

You already know how it makes you feel when you can’t get other people to understand those important points that you’re trying to get across. Especially when they ridicule you or try to deny the truth of what you’re saying and you either want to scream or just storm off out of sheer frustration.

I was there once too.

You already know how important your communication skills are but they’re a bit like your health. You don’t think about them until your relationships are going down the tubes. It’s not until you realize, yet again, that you’re up to your ears and fed up to the back teeth with “stupid” misunderstandings. And worst of all you can’t for the life of you figure out a way to change it.

I would love to tell you that there’s an instant fix. You know like a pill you can take or a mantra you can say and that in just ten minutes or less you will be the proud owner of the super dooper relationship repair kit and it will magically transform your life…. A mere 37 seconds after you take off the cellophane .

But I can’t… and I won’t… because I’d be lying and it wouldn’t be fair on you, to build up your hopes like that, knowing they’d be dashed.

It takes longer than ten minutes to change habits that you got taught over your whole lifetime. And that’s all that the way you build relationships is. It’s a habit. And what that means is that to get the results that you want from your world may take a bit longer…

…Sometimes it takes as long as a week to start to see the positive results…

But… in the first five minutes of our transforming communication course you will learn the one thing that predicts with 95% accuracy whether or not your relationship will last. The rest of the 26 hour course is about showing you how to make sure it never happens.

Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Mike Noone I’m an NLP trainer and I specialise in showing people ways to get better relationships by using skills they already know well. The trouble is that these skills are absolutely useless to you if you use them in the wrong way or in the wrong place. Along with my partner Evelyne Draper we have put together something for you that we think is pretty amazing.

Allow me to tell you more as there’s quite a tale behind this. But before I do that I want to let you know what this relationship building system does and why it’s so important.

You already know how to talk to people. You already know how to create rapport. You are hard wired for it, by design.

What you are not hard wired for or designed for is all the extra data and sensory input that you’re getting in the 21st Century.Nor are the people around you that you spend time with every day.
It’s not your fault but you suffer anyway.

One of the things that happens is that your stress ends up multiplying like a virus in a petri dish because everyone around you is adding their little bit of stress to the mix.

Stress is a killer and one of the biggest causes of stress is fighting with those that you love; those you work for; your kids; your employees. Think about it….

I have research that shows you will live longer if you’re happier

So the converse side of this is that if you are happy and relaxed then you will live longer and you can get some of the facts about it here. >>>>> Research shows.. <<<<<In fact if you are happy and relaxed you will live, on average 3-5 years longer and the added bonus is that you will actually enjoy that extra time.

This is why we teach you how to relax and become confident almost instantly using an easy to learn NLP technique that was developed by watching how experts do it.

Many communications courses show you how to browbeat others into submission and really let them know how you feel about stuff and WHY it’s all their fault.

This is known as assertiveness and I’m sure that you’re familiar with it.You’ve probably already been at both ends of it and you can probably remember what that feels like.

Here’s the thing..

Winning isn’t about being the biggest strongest most alpha gorilla in the jungle- That’s for dumbass types and bullies

But there’s so much more to it than confidence and assertiveness because the thing about that type of communication is that

Most times BOTH of you lose

What the Transforming communication system does is it increases the “no problem area” in your relationships and through some clever but simple techniques allows you to decrease the conflict areas.

It also teaches you how to say your piece in a way that the other person cannot dispute the truth of what you have said. And without them “getting ratty” at you either.

Now does this mean that you will never disagree with another human being as long as you live??

Definitely not.

The Transforming Communication system allows you to handle most circumstances but can’t prevent them happening. At least, not yet…

Nope !

…

As I said earlier there’s a bit of a story here.

It started back in April, 2006.

We were all done…proudly standing in front of the class! Our certificates in hand, when the trainer for this course said something that changed my life.

ONLY 1% of the people on the planet

…have the time and the money to do this training. That was ok until I realized that meant that 99% of the population is NOT going to take advantage of this cutting edge stuff.

It shocked me !

It’s no wonder there’s so many divorces, wars, road rage and folks who are just downright grumpy because people don’t understand them.

Now being a bit of a stand up guy for both rights and responsibilities yelling and screaming at people because they don’t understand you is a pretty ineffective way of getting your message across. Blowing people to Kingdom come just because they have different opinions to you isn’t my idea of democratic either.

To me, common sense, ( the most uncommon commodity in the world ) says that if you listen and then understand what those with different perspectives have to say then several wonderful things can happen.

1/ You are more likely to be able to influence them because they’ll know you’ve listened to them. Just knowing how to do this one thing makes this worth learning.
2/ It will save a fortune on  divorce attorneys and alimony payments counselors and therapist fees and other weapons of financial destruction which means you can divert that money and all that energy into rebuilding industry and creating jobs for people. You can be part of creating a happier and safer planet.

3/ And because people will have jobs and money they will have the time to create safe neighborhoods without any foreclosures which means the country will be happier.
All without any bailouts or defaults.

Back to the 1%

My partner Evelyne said why not put it up on the interweb so more people can get this learning. Now straight away I could sense that this was something brilliant. That was around three years ago and despite the fact that I knew squat about the internet, I was inspired by the idea nonetheless.

deck view from Puketai

Inspired enough to move to the third world to cut costs and live off of the proceeds of selling my dream house while we learned and did what was needed.

Talk about motivated…

After, at last count, at least four attempts to put this online; thousands of hours spent doing audio, and video compressing it all, using trial, error, making mistakes and endless cups of tea. We finally are there.

So after all of that, you’re probably curious about why we would spend so much time energy and money doing this.

Simple, easy…

Because this training changes lives. In as little as 4 days you can start to feel more confident , happy, powerful and in control.

And you have heard that before so I’m going to prove it to you if you’ll let me but…

ON ONE CONDITION

You must promise on the life of those nearest and dearest to you that you will not abuse the power that I’m about to hand you. It will cause you endless bad ju ju if you do.

You will be rated by the world as lower than a psychopathic terrorist with a case full of narcotics outside of the school playground.

If you are not going to use these skills then just hit the back button now. This is only for those who are really serious about using these skills ethically.

Transforming communication is like having your own personal tool box filled with
all of the things you’ll ever need to create strong and enduring relationships. The sort of relationships where you feel like you really count and are important to the other people there.
I’m not going to bang on about how much you need this stuff as only you can know if you’re getting the results from your life that you really want, or not.

All I will say is this…

Look at the worlds top performers in any field and you will immediately notice the thing they all have in common. Look at those 1%…

They know how to get on really well with the people that are important in their life…

People like their family and their partner. The people they work with or for. People who work for them and their friends and neighbors.

You owe it to yourself to think about how much better your life would be if only you had better relationships.

If you want to lay your hands on the first three modules of the transforming communication course absolutely free then simply leave your name and email address in the box below.

Oh and by the way

If you will leave your comments below…And remember to Tweet this out and like it too. I appreciate it and so will your friends.

Here at Transforming Communication we believe something different to that.

We think that when certain elements in society “push” well known and predetermined “buttons” then humans react in a predictable way. It is the pushing of these buttons that cause war. Not genetics or predestination.

Alfred Korzybski reported on the linguistics of war in his book “Science and Sanity”, prior to World War 2. ( You  can download the book for free at the link above)

Because we believe that you are in charge of your brain and as a result of that what you think, then how is it not possible to think and believe things which support peace and cooperation ?

The reason for this article is a book review that I read this morning about how we are actually more genetically pre-disposed towards peace than towards being warlike. You can read it at this link here…Why war is not inevitable…

I’d be curious about what you think after reading the review  so please come back and post your thoughts here.

Like many teachers, I enjoy the challenge of molding a class of students into a cohesive and cooperative group, where achievement and the development of self confidence and self esteem are the
main focus. I have never really thought about how this is done. It seemed to me to be something that
occurred naturally and depended on the mix of students in the class at the time. I had never really
taken the time to focus on the things that I could do to enhance this process and to ensure that it
happened quickly and easily.
It wasn’t until I had an unusually dysfunctional senior class, that consisted of five different groups
with almost nothing in common, and didn’t like each other much that I realised I needed a strategy
that could be used consistently with every class. Establishing rapport with individual groups in this
particular class was easy, but I could not seem to get the groups to function together. As a result, the
class deteriorated rapidly, with students becoming habitually late and uncooperative. I was forced to
spend more and more of my time dealing with ‘control’ issues, rather than facilitating learning.
This situation was not helped by the fact that we used three different classrooms. One particular room
was small, over crowded and poorly ventilated and it had very negative anchors for many of the
students. Time spent in this room was not constructive.
The workload we had to get through, as a University bursary class, was very demanding. It became
clear to me that something needed to change quickly or we were not going to complete the course
before the end of year exams. I needed to find a way to bring the groups together and develop a cooperative learning environment quickly and effectively.
The strategy I chose to implement took one period. It involved four main steps:
1 Setting the Scene:

I began by explaining that I believed that I had made a serious mistake with the way I had been
treating the class and I needed their help as I didn’t know what to do about it. This was a real
attention grabber! I went on to explain that I had been trying to regard them as equals and as adults
but I was feeling very uncomfortable with the way things were going and I would like to discuss this.
I then outlined some of my concerns about the lack of progress being made, lateness etc.
By asking for their advice I was treating them as equals, and by outlining my concerns, I had set the
scene for the discussion that followed.
1 Finding the Common Thread:

At this point, It was appropriate to check whether everyone was on the path to achieving the goals that
they had set at the start of the year. To help with this, I distributed a five-page copy of the bursary
syllabus so they could see exactly what had to be completed by the end of the year. I then asked them
to remove the last page of the syllabus. This was approximately the amount of content that would not
be completed at the current work rate. It was obvious to everyone that no-one would achieve their
goals unless a dramatic change took place.
I reiterated that my goal was for everyone to do their best, and that I was there to help them and
support them to do this. I could only reach my goal, when they reached theirs! Suddenly we all had
something in common – one small but vital thread that linked everyone together – we all wanted to
achieve our goals!
2 Class Agreements:
The next step was to focus on the kind of environment we would like to create – one that would
encourage and enable everyone to achieve their goals. To do this we decided to create a class list of
agreements to support our goals, one that everyone would agree to abide by.
Before we brainstormed our agreements, I explained that I had an obligation to consider the school
rules. If any of our agreements required a departure from these I would have to seek the principal’s
permission. Students accepted this as a genuine effort on my part to see that we reached agreements
that would really work, and at the same time there were certain restrictions that we needed to observe.
It took approximately 20 minutes to achieve a unanimous decision on the following list of agreements:
• Be respectful of others.
• It is okay to eat in class (within reason).
• It is okay to ask questions.
• Arrive on time – if you are late no excuse is necessary, but enter quickly and quietly.
• It is okay to choose to do the work in class or at home – as long as it is done.
• Pay attention when someone is talking to the class.
• It is okay to enjoy yourself.
Although these agreements were similar to the ‘rules’ that I had tried to implement previously, the
difference was that these were our agreements and everyone was responsible for them.
Some agreements required clarification and discussion. For example, eating in class is against the
school rules and we needed to discuss the reasons behind this (ie hygiene and cleanliness), to ensure
that everyone agreed on what would be acceptable and what wouldn’t. It is also important to
remember that as a member of the group, I had the right to agree or disagree. Because a unanimous
decision was required, I could be confident that I would be happy with the outcome.
1 Monitoring the Agreements:

Students were concerned that it was easy to agree, and still not make any real changes. They wanted
to know what would happen if someone did not stick to our agreements. As I did not see my role as
being an “enforcer”, I encouraged them to come up with a solution that we could all agree to. It was
at this point that they realised we were all responsible for how this class would operate.
We decided to remind each other of our obligations, and that it would be appropriate for me to take
whatever action I thought was necessary to help everyone to keep to the agreements. Surprisingly, the
students who were most likely to break the agreements were the ones who were most insistent that I
should do this. They genuinely wanted to succeed and recognised that they might need some help
with their own self discipline.
During the following weeks students politely, but firmly, reminded those who needed help, of their
commitment to making the agreements work. From this point onwards, the entire atmosphere of the
class changed. Students began to work together co-operatively and to respect each other. The class
changed from separate, distinct groups, to one large group with common goals and expectations.
Students arrived on time. The work rate increased and I was able to concentrate fully on facilitating
learning. We finished the syllabus in time to allow several weeks for revision before the exams.
The Results:

The previous academic record of many of these students indicated that approximately 50% would not
pass the exam and 25% of them should not have been in the class at all. Despite this, at the end of the
year, 90% passed the final bursary exam and the class average was well above the national. In
addition, for 85% of students, this subject produced their highest bursary exam result.
For me personally, the situation changed from being stressful and frustrating, to a relaxing and
enjoyable experience where I could concentrate fully on my goals of facilitating learning and building
self esteem. Students supported and helped each other and I became the last person they sought
assistance from rather than the first. As a result, my workload actually went down.

This simple process changed the entire nature of the class and was the single most important step
towards creating a co-operative learning environment. I now use this process with all of my classes,
usually within the first two weeks of the year, depending on how quickly I can establish rapport with
the students.
Working With Juniors

When working with Junior students I use a version of the Japanese “Hexagon Kaizen Think Kit” (G
Dryden/J Vos “The Learning Revolution). This involves the following steps:
1. Preframing the whole process using sports teams and how they need rules and regulations and
that everyone needs to agree to them and know what they are. They also have common goals and
the whole team is aiming toward the same thing.
2. A Goal Setting process to get individuals to focus on what they want from the class. I also
explain my personal goals for the class.
3. Focus on creating a supportive environment so that we can all reach our goals. This is
achieved through a general discussion about the sort of class we want and things that would help
to create this.
4. Generating Agreements: Each individual writes down some of the agreements they would like,
then they get together with 2-3 mates and create a list. They then write each agreement on a
separate coloured hexagon and stick it on the board. I do several as well as I am part of the
group)
1. Selecting the Agreements: Similar hexagons are grouped together and explanations gathered
where required. A unanimous vote is required for each agreement to be accepted. If someone
does not agree then there is discussion and the issue is adjusted until everyone agrees. This is
very important as everyone is expected to stick to these agreements, therefore everyone,
including the teacher, must agree to each one. The accepted agreements are then put onto a
poster and each student writes them into their book.
2. Methods of enforcing the Agreements are discussed and agreed upon.
3. A Review of progress and possible adjustments is done after a week.
I have found that students are excellent at determining what is important in creating a safe, enjoyable
environment and the voting process works quickly and easily. A student will occasionally put a
suggestion on the board that is obviously impossible to achieve. When this happens it is noticeable
that during the voting process, no-one votes for these suggestions (including the authors).
Regardless of the age of students, they always take the process seriously and the following week is
really the time when my sincerity to stick to the agreements is ‘tested’. Occasionally I will need to
remind students of the agreements and what they mean, but generally students will enforce the
agreements themselves and I am free to concentrate on the teaching/learning process.
Summary

The process of establishing a groups’ common goal, or purpose, then creating a supportive
environment through establishing group agreements, creates a joint sense of ownership and
responsibility. Students take this process seriously. The opportunity to really have an input into how
a class will function changes every students role from a passive observer, who does not need to be
responsible for anything, to an active participant in the functioning and success of the group.

© Julie McCracken

What do you want when you communicate with somebody ?

The reality is that being perceived as an expert communicator should  NOT be your number 1 priority.

Realise that what you are looking for is  to have control of the response. Your response…

Your first priority when communicating is to be sure that what you are  saying has been understood. Until that happens everything else is completely irrelevant, simply  because you are not communicating.

The message is not getting through.

You also have a responsibility to understand what is being said to you. Without both of these  components you are still not communicating.

You are talking AT each other.

You are probably thinking well yes this is all very well but doesn’t the other person also have the same responsibilities to understand me. I mean hey, my view is important here too.

The answer is yes…and no

There are two parties to any communication and because you are here and reading this I assume that you want to improve the type of communication you’re having with other people. I assume that you want to improve the quality of your communication which may mean that you get better responses to your questions or deeper levels of truth or emotions.

Either way, whatever you want out of your communication It is your responsibility to ensure that you get the responses that you need.

If you want more truthfulness…

If you want to be respected more …

If you want to have more influence or more friends..

or

Any other type of response you can think of.

Remember…Only you are in charge of your brain.

And if you don’t think that you’re in charge of it, then who is and who decided you would let them control your thinking ? Think about that…Because if you can consider who is actually in charge of your thinking it means that you really are the one who is in charge of your thoughts.

Right !

That means that you  not only have the power to take control of what you think. You also get to decide what you say  and how you say it.

Your brain receives a massive amount of information from your ears and eyes and then it decides what that information means. Your mind decides what the messages that you get from the outside world mean and then it tells you about that message. It tells you by encoding that information as a belief. Another aspect that makes up your beliefs are your values.

Values are  powerful beliefs that you use to measure yourself against in terms of your results and also your actions. Another word for your values is your conscience. What you believe to be right and good.

So let’s imagine that you have had a message from your boss or your partner. The message says that they are not very happy about something you have done.

That message could be interpreted that you are a victim of circumstance and powerless to change your life for the better… That your boss dominates your life and change is beyond your control…Your partner is the one that makes the decisions for you and so they must be right.

The same information could also be interpreted that while your life is not exactly what you want, at the moment,  you have got lots of really big incentives to change it and “By golly you’re not going to let anything or anyone stop you from getting it…”

The thing you can understand here is that YOU are the one who decides what the information you receive means. And you are the one who decides what you will do with that meaning.

Here’s a little test for your beliefs and what they mean to you… 

I am assuming that you have a goal that you will get as a result of having better communication skills. Yes ?

Do your current beliefs and the meaning you have attached to them, get you closer to your goals or do they move you further away from them ? And if they are not supporting you in getting your goals is there something else you could believe that would be more useful ?

You have the power to make a choice. You can stick with what has not worked so far…You can keep on doing those things that frustrate you and upset you…

Or you can decide right now that as you realise you are reading this and as you become aware that you are understanding these words… you can change what you believe about anything  you want to.

Your whole life is just made up of thoughts. thoughts that come into and flow through your mind. And you get to decide whether you believe them or not and what you want to do about that.

And even when the thoughts  say you have no control…You can still ask them this question…

Says who, specifically ?

and just be aware of the answers that come to you.

I recently came across this article by Rebecca Cherry on Dimensional Bliss and it seems to confirm what we teach on our NLP courses that the mind and body are in fact one system. it also lends weight to what is taught in Qui gong that we actually have three brains.

Have a read and then allow yourself to imagine all of the possible things that you can do with this learning

Recently, Neurophysicists have been astonished to discover that the Heart is more an organ of intelligence,

than (merely) the bodies’ main pumping station. More than half of the Heart is actually composed of neurons of the very same nature as those that make up the cerebral system. Joseph Chilton-Pearce, author of The Biology of Transcendence, calls it “the major biological apparatus within us and the seat of our greatest intelligence.”

The Heart is also the source of the body’s strongest electromagnetic field. Each heart cell is unique in that it not only pulsates in synchrony with all the other heart cells, but also produces an electromagnetic signal that radiates out beyond the cell. An EEG that measures brain waves shows that the electromagnetic signals from the heart are so much stronger than brain waves, that a reading of the heart’s frequency spectrum can be taken from three feet away from the body…without placing electrodes on it!