win-win conflict resolution activities

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Scenarios for win-win conflict resolution activities

One of you will be the parent, the other the 17 year old teenager. Have a pen and paper ready to keep track of the proposed solutions.

This is the scenario:

Parent
You are a parent of two teenagers; Julie (age 14) and Robyn/Robin (age 17). Lately Robyn/Robin has been staying out late at the weekends, arriving home at midnight. As long as you know where he/she is (usually at a particular friend Francis/Frances’ place), it doesn’t cause you a problem. However, when he/she arrives in, the sounds of a car arriving, and the banging of the front door (next to your room) often wakes you up, which you resent. You usually go to bed around 11 pm. Also, Robin/Robyn often gets a snack after arriving home, and leaves the mess spread across the kitchen bench. You have learned win-win conflict resolution, and want to find a solution that works for both of you. It’s now Sunday afternoon and you’ve just asked Robyn/Robin if she/he could talk with you about the weekends. Begin by sending a clear I message and reflecting your teenager’s responses.

Robyn/Robin
You are a 17 year old with a younger sister (Julie, age 14). The last few weeks, you’ve taken to going around to your friend Francis/Frances’ place on the weekends. Francis/Frances has a sleepout separate from the house there, so you and your other friends can stay up there without disturbing anyone. You generally finish up about 11 pm, but it takes time dropping off people in Francis/Frances’ car, so often it’s midnight when you finally get dropped off at home. After a snack, you go to bed. You’ve noticed that your parent is often awake at that time, and have wondered if it was bothering them that you arrive at that time. But you consider it your right to be out with friends, especially on the weekend. After all, midnight is hardly late! It’s now Sunday afternoon, and your parent has just asked if she/he could talk to you about the weekends.

If you prefer you can roleplay the following two people: the manager and the salesperson. Again, decide with your friend who’s going to be who Again, you will use the Transforming Communication skills, and your friend will respond just as they imagine the person they are roleplaying would. Note down, on a piece of paper, any proposed solutions.

Here’s the scenario:

Manager
You are the manager in charge of a team sales team which meets once a week to discuss new models of sales, product lines, communication skills etc. There has been rising tension in this discussion group the last few weeks, because one of the salespeople has been increasingly annoyed with the other team members. She/he answers any questions before others get a chance to respond, criticises others’ comments, and particularly complains that other participants are not studying the notes you circulate before each meeting to give the meeting focus. You know that this person is a highly motivated and productive salesperson, but at the last meeting no-one else contributed much, and you want to be able to maintain an effective group environment. You want to tell the salesperson that you have a problem with the way things are going hi the discussions. Listen fully to her/his comments, and once the situation seems clearer, invite her/him to search for solutions that could work for both of you.

Salesperson
You are a salesperson working in a team which meets once a week to discuss new models of sales, product lines, communication skills etc. Before each meeting, your manager circulates information about the discussion topic for this week, but at the meeting you seem to be the only one who actually reads this. Succeeding in sales is very important to you. You want to be the best you can at your job. The meetings are beginning to bore you though, partially because the depth of discussion doesn’t explore the issues that really interest you. You resent the others’ lack of motivation, and have started to let them know that you’re sick of their coming unprepared to the meeting, and annoyed with their lack of understanding of the issues in their own job. Your manager has asked to talk with you about what’s going on. You respect her/him, and are interested to help her/him out.

Work through the win-win process, and keep it to about 15 minutes. At the end, discuss with your friend what progress you have made in solving the roleplay conflict. What was it like to in the role?

When you’ve finished, don’t forget to leave the role behind. Remember that you are again yourself, and your friend is also themselves again.