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Welcome to Module 7.Return to Dashboard4
[audio:http://www.transformingcommunication.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/7_Track_524.mp3|titles=Module7.4.mp3]How many different ways are there of cutting the cake to get this result?” Think for a minute or so, and put ideas on paper. The answer is not 6, or 20, or 100 or 1000 or 1 million. It is an infinite number. The examples below include any solution where the cake is cut in half first and then the halves are divided into an even half; any solution where two straight lines cross at right angles in the centre, and a number of solutions using curved lines.
Cake
What are your responses to the Win-Win model of resolving conflict? What are your thoughts?
The task for the week is to work through an actual conflict situation, using the Win-Win Conflict Resolution Worksheet in the manual (either privately, as a learning activity, or with someone in the process of resolving a conflict).
You can do some additional reading that will increase your understanding. Read the “Win-Win” article in the workbook.
The counsellor “reframed” Margot and Richard’s concerns into outcomes:
“So Margot, in a conflict you want to be sure that you have the space to keep your side in mind”. Margot nodded. “And Richard you want to know that it will get sorted out in a way that looks at both your needs”. Richard agreed.
“Okay then our outcome is to find a way that Margot has that space AND Richard knows both views will be considered, is that right?”
They agreed on two solutions. At the start of any disagreement, Margot and Richard wrote down their needs, their I messages, to make sure they could check later on that both were respected. Secondly, they agreed that if either person felt overwhelmed, they could take “time out” from the discussion, provided they arranged when they’d be back to complete discussing the issue. That way Margot knew she could always get space, and Richard knew she would come back to solve the conflict.
Like most successful agreements, after only a few times of using this, the arrangements didn’t need actioning. The level of trust and respect, that had built up between them, solved the problem for them. The agreement acted as a security backup, while that trust and rapport was building. In fact, the deepening of trust was a major side benefit of the experience.