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Module 9.1

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Welcome to Module 9.1    Return to Dashboard

Module 9.2
Module 9.3

[audio:http://www.transformingcommunication.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/9_Track_224.mp3|titles=Module9.1.mp3]

In the area of conflicts over values or over “personality styles” (called metaprograms in NLP), there are two different aims we could have. One is to change the other person’s behaviour, and not worry about their value. For example we could aim to get our colleague, student or family member to stop wearing the clothes we don’t like, or at least to stop wearing these clothes around us.

There are some real risks to changing behaviour in this way, because the other person may well feel that they have compromised on “who they are”. With the use of power, it may seem temptingly easy to stop someone wearing certain clothes, taking certain drugs etc, but the resentment resulting is considerable, and almost certainly this method locks the other person’s values into place. Even if you use Win-Win conflict resolution to find a behaviour changing solution, the risk of resentment remains.

Most people hope, in the values area, that they can influence the actual values of the other person; have the other person decide themselves to change their style of clothes. That’s what we’re dealing with today. How to influence. You’ll recall that influence is inversely proportional to power. The more you coerce someone, the less they tend to follow your suggestions out of respect.

When you now listen to the next exercise in the audio, you’ll find out what does actually influence someone. Do not listen to it while driving or operating machinery.

After you’ve listened to these instructions, write the qualities of that person down in your manual.